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Drills for Phoney Phoenetics

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One reason why I cannot spell.

Although I learned the rules quite well.

Is that some words like coup and through

Sound just like threw and flue and Who;

When oo is never spelled the same,

The duice becomes a guessing game;

And then I ponder over though,

Is it spelled so, or, throw, or beau?

And bough is never bow, it's bow,

I mean the bow that sounds like plow,

And not the bow that sounds like row -

The row that is pronounced like roe.

I wonder, too why rough and tough,

That sound the same as gruff and muff,

Are spelled like bough and though, for they

Are both pronounced a different way.

And why can't I spell trough and cough

The same as I do scoff or golf?

Why isn't drought spelled just like route?

Or doubt or pout or sauerkraut?

When words all sound so much the same

To change the spelling seems a shame.

There is no sense – see, sounds like cents

In making such a difference

Between the sight and sound of words,

Each spelling rule that undergirds

The way a word should look will fail

And often prove to no avail

Because exceptions will negate

The truth of what the rule may state

So though I try, I still despair

And moan and mutter, "It's not fair

That I'm held up to ridicule

And made to look like such a fool,

When it's the spelling that's at fault.

Let's call this nonsense to a halt."